This is a Long Road

We went in to the hospital last Monday for Katie’s first chemotherapy infusion. It ended up being a 9 hour ordeal, ugh. Katie and I had been trying to think of any way that we could get out of going through with chemo, but we were assured after talking it over with the doctors, this is the best option we have with her type of cancer.

Our suspicions of chemo not being fun came true this week. It started off gradually, but the side effects have continued to build each day. Most recently the nausea has set in, on top of a constant pounding head ache, numbness, lack of taste, dizziness, and what Katie has called a general “out of body experience”. We have a collection of medications to help her with the chemo side effects, but those have side effects of their own. It’s difficult finding the right combination for her, sometimes in the day she feels better, but mostly, it’s difficult to get her just to sit up straight.

I admit that I never really knew what chemo was until now, nor did I understand the full implications that it has on the human body. It’s only been one week, but man, this has been a tough week. As we sat next to each other on the couch Sunday evening, through clenched teeth we said, “One week down… 17 more to go”. I have a new found empathy for anyone who has gone through, or watched a loved one go through chemotherapy.

We were able to get some family pictures this last week. Katie wanted to get some done before her hair loss became noticeable. With the help of a good friend we had all the kids and Katies hair looking great (I was questionable). It will be nice to have those hanging up soon.

We ended up being admitted back to the infusion center again Monday morning. She had not been able to keep anything down for the last 24 hours. Poor girl was very “out of it” through the whole drive into the hospital, she just needed some fluid, and couldn’t feel any pain relief. We visited with her oncologist and were able to work out a care routine for the nausea. Hopefully we can get ahold of this a little better.

We have met some very memorable people.

All through this process there are people we have crossed paths with that we won’t forget. From the first day we entered the cancer center and boarded the elevator to the oncology floor while riding in the elevator we met an older couple who after speaking with them briefly, we found out that the wife had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The husband looked at us and said with a little strain and shaking his head, “Life changing…”. I was too enamored and shocked with our own recent diagnosis to offer them any real expressions of remorse. I just stared at them, not really knowing what to say. I think about them often now.

Last Monday we were walking to the infusion center and didn’t really know which way to get there, when a very nice older couple offered to take us since they were headed that way. I noticed his bald head and we asked if they were going for chemotherapy. He said he was and that he had small cell lung cancer. Katie asked if there was a pathway to a cure for him, he half smiled and said no, they were just prolonging his life a little bit. His wife was very sweet, and offered some kind encouragement to the chemo rookies that we were. They were very encouraging, sympathetic and comforting to us as we entered the long hallway full of infusion booths that we will become more familiar as this process goes on.

Next week she will have another shot administered directly in to her ovaries to help protect her reproductive organs from the harmful chemo. The following week she will receive her second round of chemo infusion. We are hoping that this second round will be more pleasant than the first. We hear some people say that the first 10 days are the worst, so we hope that is true for Katie. We will not know for a few weeks what effect the chemo is having on the cancer, and therefore to what extent the surgery will have to be. We are hopeful that everything is working.

It’s difficult to see Katie go through this. She is a tough lady. 6 kids later, and I think this has been the hardest physical trial in our marriage yet. I have never known her to not get up and take care of the kids, even when she had the worst flu possible. It’s been hard on her, but I know she has been trying to find the good in all of this.

I’m a wreck, but I have been feeling Heavens help through this whole ordeal. We are just taking it one day at a time right now, and somehow we manage. Some days I make it through without getting too emotional. I’m learning to not care about the things that don’t really matter, and focus on everything that does. That may be the silver lining in all of this. A refocus on what matters most. I think it will be a lesson that will be engrained in us over the next 17 weeks.