10 min of quality time spent

My wife and I have been trying something new this year to focus more on our family. As of lately, our lives have been extremely busy. We currently have 6 children between the ages of 12 and 8 months old who lead very active lives between sports practices, cub scouts, choir practices, dance classes, piano lessons… and whatever else you can think of.

When I and the children finally make it home in the late afternoon after school and work we are constantly being whooshed away to one activity or another at any given moment. Unfortunately my wife and I began to noticed that we were starting to miss having some quality time with our children. The children were also starting to become a little moody (at least more than usual). Nothing major, but there were some attitude changes that were noticeable in many of the children and even ourselves that required our attention.

At my wife’s recommendation, we enrolled in an online parenting class to help us brush up on our parenting skills. I was a little hesitant and skeptical, but at the urging of my wife, who explained that I get to receive education and training for my employment constantly, while she as a stay at home mom does not receive any continuing education and felt this would be very beneficial for her, we decided to move ahead with it. We have not been the most diligent at it, but we have tried to fit a lesson in on most evening times before we go to bed and after the kids have already gone to sleep.

One suggestion from the course that really spoke to us was to spend 10 min a day with each child that is completely focused on them. Just 10 min of one on one time doing whatever the child wants to do. So we began doing this every day with them. We let them know that this is their time and that we can do or talk about whatever they would like. The children have really started to take to it and get excited when it becomes their special time to spend with us. We also noticed that with some of the children they started to get upset when the time was over, an almost “Like its over already?”. Even after these pleadings, we have stuck to our guns and told them it was only for 10 min, but that we would do it again the next day if they would like to. This has really become a highlight in our day, and a game changer in our home. We have seen the children start to change in their attitudes with us and each other, and really feel a closer bond.

Of any new parenting practice or technique that we have tried in the past, this has really shown immediate results for our family, and we have enjoyed the memories that are already being made. With a family of 8 people, we have really struggled at times to find the opportunity to have those close individual bonding moments with each other. There are many activities that need to be done as a family, but we are also learning that there are an equal number of things that need to be done one on one or even with a limited number of people so that we can make some more personal connections. I love how every day we are learning just a little more on what it takes to keep a family bonded together.